This One's for Tim

I'm back in Blighty with my walking boots on and my trusty training partner by my side (well, she's never really by my side as she dawdles to sniff out interesting things and then races past me at super speed). After the sunshine and warmth of Southern California it was surprisi ngly difficult to head out into the chilly wind. What's happened to me? Am I becoming soft in my old age? I'm the woman who loves the wind and the rain.... or have I been kidding myself? I like to think that I'm simply acclimatising for Jordan and that once the trek is over, I'll be back to searching out bad weather and wallowing around in it. With only four-and-a-half weeks to go, I've also been accumulating my kit. The kids kindly came with me on a shopping expedition which was incredibly helpful - they really were on a mission to have me kitted out. I'm not a great shopper and become bored after half-an-hour. It's testament to their commitment that we were in the shop for ...

There are only six weeks to go and I've reached 91% of my fundraising target! Thank you so, so much all you lovely supporters. Training's on hold at the moment as I'm away from chilly Blighty, visiting Mum in sunny California. Even 6,000 miles away from home I miss Tim. I suppose that ache will never go away. I've got a song in my head that won't go away: If I had words to make a day for you . I sang it to Tim on our last Valentine's Day and I meant every word. If I could've made a day that lasted for all-time I would've done it. I'd have done anything to keep him here. I would have given my life. But I'm not unusual - that's what love is, after all. And I'm so lucky to have had a love that strong. Lovely friends and supporters, hang on to those you love. Make each day special. Try to live every day with love, with all your heart. Hold on to it with all your might. It is the most precious thing we have. Jane Lomas is fundraising for The B...

  It's been a busy week. With only just over ten weeks to go, the pressure's ramping up. Training's going well. I'm not quite where I want to be but as it took so long to get over the chest infection I'm trying not to be too hard on myself. As well as walking longer distances I joined a class last weekend learning how to Nordic Walk. What a revelation it was! Done properly (and I'm still trying to refine the technique!) it burns more calories than normal walking and uses many more muscles - especially upper body. I had a super time as well as feeling as if I'd done a work out. My class mates were great fun and the instructor was wonderful. So much so, I've signed up to weekly classes. No, I won't be Nordic Walking in the desert, but I've learned better posture and how to walk more efficiently which can only help.  A lovely surprise is that the instructor and a couple of people from the class have donated to my fundraiser - so now I'm up to 86...

This Christmas has been hard. The hardest since Tim died. I'd thought it would get easier but somehow everything crashed down this year. On Boxing Day I couldn't get out of the chair and since then I've days when I've functioned (and even laughed) but days when I haven't been able to get out of bed. Perhaps it's remembering his last Christmas when he was bone-achingly tired. When he seemed vulnerable. Something in him had shifted. On 4th January we knew why - a brain tumour. But we still had hope at that point. We thought it might not be too bad, that it could be removed. It would take a couple of weeks before we learned the truth. Little did we know that we would be planning his funeral in less than three months. It's hard to say, but I've been right on the edge, these last few weeks. Weighing up if my life's worth it. If I want to face God-knows how many more years ahead. Alone. Lonely. Missing Tim. I feel selfish writing this. Tim would be so cros...

Last night I began watching the latest series of the crime drama, Shetland . I’m late to it, I know. I was full of excitement when it came out but I couldn’t watch it. Not until now. As many of you know, I found solace in Shetland after Tim died. The landscape and the people helped me to heal. Helped me to learn how to breathe again. Helped me to see that happiness might be possible again. Although Tim and I had n ever visited Shetland (well, he’d had an emergency overnight stay there once – he’d been taken off an oil rig but it was too foggy for the helicopter to make it back to the mainland. He told me he was in a hotel, miles away from anywhere, and the sun didn’t set until after ten o’clock), I was drawn to it. Instinctively I knew that I had to be there. Perhaps Tim’s memory had lodged itself deep in my mind, I’m not sure. But I didn’t remember his story until I was in Shetland and I drove past a sign for St Magnus Bay. Magnus had been the name of an oil rig he’d worked on sev...

I'm almost at the end of my three weeks in the Lake District. It was to be part holiday, part writing but most importantly..... trek training. The first week went well. I was testing out my toes, making sure they were broken in gently. I had odd bouts of discomfort but on the whole I managed. I'm learning how to alleviate the twinges before they turn to pain. Realising how different terrain creates different pressure which leads to toe trouble. I've even discovered that 'hiking' socks don't work for me - they're too thick and bulky. My Fitbit was ecstatic! It's never seen so much movement. And it was really encouraging to sit back with a hot chocolate at the end of the day and see how many steps I'd done. Yay! for the Lake District. Bring it on, week two. Well. On week two I started with a bit of a cold. Nothing to worry about. This week I'd planned to take  on two longer treks and if I could manage my toes, a sniffle wasn't going to stop me....

  I've been quiet. Too afraid to carry on fundraising as I've had some problems with my feet. Well, my toes to be exact. It turns out I've got something called Morton's neuroma which is my own fault for wearing high heels with pointy toes when I was younger. To be honest, my mum probably told me I shouldn't and I'm sure I ignored her. After all, who cares about saving your feet for when you're in your fifties when you can be cramming them in to all sorts of shiny, heely things to go dancing (and, gosh, how I loved dancing). Anyway, I've had a steroid injection in one of the toes which stopped the pain for a couple of months. I've bought the widest fitting hiking boots known to mankind (just call me Boaty MacBoat Feet as I look like I have flippers on). I've been very careful to avoid any footwear that pinches. I've done everything I can. And now I'm in the Lake District for training (well, it's a holiday really but I'm justifying ...